When I was a little kid, I picked up early on that it’s defective to be a girl. That you’re weak, pathetic & silly if you giggle, act coy and let the boys chase you.
In Year 1 my crush punched me hard in the stomach for leaning over his desk. And while it physically hurt, I was devastated.
So it was at that moment I figured that I’d get more respect from boys if I acted like one. So I started swearing, climbing trees, hanging out with boys, spoke with a rougher, more exaggerated bogan accent, refused to wear dresses … and chased other boys.
Much to my mother’s dismay.
Cue the demise of many relationships as I got older ... (I’m reversing that now).
As I got older, I left a lot of guys bewildered when I was taking charge, trying to control and lead the relationship. As a result, a lot of my ex partners slipped into the feminine role, I’d lose interest in & respect for them and end it.
Or they cheated.
It was a vicious cycle.
So this led me to study deeply my role as a woman & how to relate to a man (yes, including you) so that I wasn't domineering, bossy, controlling or any of those other 'not so attractive' masculine traits.
I realised that I was pulling away from men who'd be feminine in response to my masculine energy.
I didn't like it ... and I knew then that, despite what 'modern day women' tell you (or rant at you), men and women MUST operate from their respective roles when relating to each other for harmony.
The Masculine, The Feminine & Its Consequences
If a woman is doing all the chasing, leading, organizing & deciding, and you’re coasting along letting her, then you’ve slipped into the feminine & her into the masculine.
Now I’m not saying that this dynamic doesn’t work. I’ve seen couples do it successfully where he’s the ‘stay at home dad’ while she powers it out in the boardroom.
But if this is the case, she’s the boss … which isn’t great for you.
Because in a lot of cases, you’re setting yourself up to be controlled, manipulated and nagged to ... because a masculine woman will lose respect for a feminine man.
By nature, women are drawn to masculine men, despite what every sitcom with the sharp wife & dopey husband tells you (it's just not as funny).
It’s all about his ability to lead, assert himself, make decisions, have direction in life and stand up for what he believes in. And if you haven’t cultivated those traits because you're being a pushover, then I’m sorry to drop this on you, but she won’t feel attraction for you.
It’s the same as asking if you’re attracted to butch women. I’d factor a guess that that’d be a ‘no’.
For any attraction between a man & a woman to develop, there has to be polarity. That is, Yin & Yang – one is in masculine energy & the other is feminine.
Feminine being soft, passive, connection focused, emotional, receptive, looks to be led.
The masculine is the opposite. Logical, self directed, action taker, decision maker, protector.
Now here's my disclaimer: This isn't to say men should shut off from their emotions & be a wall against any kind of feelings. On the contrary, a masculine man who's in touch with his emotions ... without relying on a woman to mother him or fix his problems ... holds immense, intoxicating power.
He knows how to tune into a woman's emotional needs ... because he's tuned into his own.
And my other disclaimer? It's impossible to measure levels on this - it's subjective and varies from couple to couple.
But a man who falls into the feminine too much will struggle with women because he’s working from the logic that if he acts like a woman, he’ll likely get one.
Or if he relies on a woman, she'll want him more.
Not the case.
So my question to you is, do you want to be the feminine in a relationship? Have you been in the past?
Because when you cultivate your masculine traits … and not in a fake ‘pretending to be masculine’ way … but in a centered, knowing who you are & what you’re about way …
… then you’ll have NO problems attracting the woman you want. Because you've clued in to what makes you the prize.
You can learn more about this in The High Value Male Mastermind where I teach you from a female perspective, what women need & want from you to feel attraction. You'll develop your confidence, self esteem and ability to relate to women from the position of a highly prized man that women crave.
Does that sound good to you? Then join us here.